June 12, 2011We do not go swimming on Sundays. Despite what you might be thinking with this picture. It's actually from Friday when I broke out the pool to kill a few hours before Teresa's wedding.
But with a slight meltdown after church and a few tears, I needed a reminder that I do love my kids and at times, they do love me too. Oh, and it was me who had the meltdown.
I don't know. I felt horrible but the second we got home and Pearl started in on her whining, crying, sassing, ignoring, and down-right deficiency which seems to be the normal the past few months, I felt like I had just plain given up on motherhood. In Sunday School we talked and talked and talked about how to keep our kids from making poor choices, teaching them what hard work is, how to be good people, and frankly, not screw up their lives (too bad anyway). I kept thinking, yeah well you can set the best example in the world, talk to them until you're blue in the face but these little spirits come with PERSONALITIES! And for some, those personalities just might be the death of their parents. My kid is 4! Four! And I have no clue what to do with her! I have no idea how to discipline her. How to reason with her. How to teach her. How to love her. And if I can't handler her now at four, what in the world is going to happen at 8, 13, 16? Everyday it's a battle of wills to get her dressed, eat breakfast, get hair combed, brush teeth, get in the truck, get out of the truck, and then comes the tantrum, screams, and leg-grabbing when I drop her off at school. And that's just the morning routine. Every single day. Between being emotionally spent with Pearl and physically spent with Cole, I am exhausted and it showed today.
I love my kids, I really do. But lately I've about had it and have no idea what to do.
1 comment:
Remember the talk in conference about how those difficult personalities are sometimes more for the parents sake and learning? I did NOT appreciate that perspective! But yet it's so true! And does P not like day care anymore? Sounds like she doesn't want to leave you. :(
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